{"id":1362,"date":"2020-12-05T07:56:31","date_gmt":"2020-12-05T13:56:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.travway.net\/?p=1362"},"modified":"2020-12-05T21:41:30","modified_gmt":"2020-12-06T03:41:30","slug":"im-from-the-government-and-were-here-to-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/travway.net\/index.php\/2020\/12\/05\/im-from-the-government-and-were-here-to-help\/","title":{"rendered":"I’m from the Government, and we’re here to help"},"content":{"rendered":"

Season 6, Episode 5 (PSA<\/a>)<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

“Yes, its true” Donald Trump stated at the start of his national address. “There is a virus that is ravaging the rest of the world, and it has made it way to these United States.”<\/p>\n

“Rest assured, that I have our finest, doctors working on this.\u00a0 They’re great.\u00a0 The finest doctors have shared with me a plan, and its a wonderful plan, a spectacular beautiful plan, on how to address this virus” Trump continued.<\/p>\n

“We know, that it causes rashes on your backside, and we don’t know how it spreads exactly. ”<\/p>\n

A flurry of hands went up<\/p>\n

“Mr. Trump, Mr. Trump!” a voice said.<\/p>\n

“Yes, you” Trump said as he pointed to a reporter.<\/p>\n

“Mr. Trump, Anna Smith from Snowflake news, is there any indication that race is involved\u00a0 you racist, bigoted, oran…”<\/p>\n

“Look” Trump stopped her “Race has nothing to do with this, this is a serious pandemic and we need to be serious about this, yes you”<\/p>\n

“Mr. Sexist, is there any way you could have handled this any worse than you have?” another reporter asked.<\/p>\n

“President Trump, are you going to mandate the use of butt masks?” another reporter asked.<\/p>\n

“I’m not going to make any decision on that until we know more information.” Trump responded. “We know what we know and we don’t know what we don’t know.\u00a0 Our finest doctors are working on this”<\/p>\n

Another journalist switched the subject on him “Mr. Trump, will this pandemic have any effect on your re-election?”<\/p>\n

“My reelection bid is going well, its looking good. It’s going so well, you’d have to have four major swing states find something like 100k votes a piece for creepy Joe to beat me” Trump said assuredly.<\/p>\n

“Are you going to accept fault for the spread of the butt virus to the US?” Anna Smith asked again.<\/p>\n

“Ok, that’s it” Trump said furiously. “No more questions about the butt virus, the election. I am going now to get a hamberder. God Bless, and God bless the United states of America!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Season 6, Episode 5 (PSA) “Yes, its true” Donald Trump stated at the start of his national address. “There is a virus that is ravaging the rest of the world, and it has made it way to these United States.” “Rest assured, that I have our finest, doctors working on this.\u00a0 They’re great.\u00a0 The finest […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[38,36],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1362","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2020-season-6","category-a-stay-puft-christmas"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/travway.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1362","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/travway.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/travway.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/travway.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/travway.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1362"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/travway.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1362\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1363,"href":"https:\/\/travway.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1362\/revisions\/1363"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/travway.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1362"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/travway.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1362"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/travway.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1362"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}