Charles Dickens: Scrooge didn’t fall asleep until moments before the clock started to play its hourly chimes. He looked out and saw nothing. Nothing that is until the clock chimed 1. At which point his room light all up and he saw an apparition. It seemed very real though.
Sophia Petrillo: Scrooge! Get up! Let’s go!
Donald Trump: Who are you? Are you the spirit whose coming was foretold to me?
Sophia Petrillo: I am! I am the Ghost of Christmas Past!
Donald Trump: Long past, like from the birth of our Saviour?
Sophia Petrillo: No, your past Scrooge.
Donald Trump: Oh, that’s just great, I suppose you’re with those impeachment folks that are always bugging me about my past. You’re here to help them, right?
Sophia Petrillo: No Scrooge, I am here for your welfare!
Donald Trump: Oh, so you’re a freeloader and just want your hand in my pocket. Well I can assure you, it is empty.
Sophia Petrillo: I think there’s a connection between your brain and wallpaper paste… Come we have much to see!
Donald Trump: But spirit, where will we go. It is the middle of the night and I am not fully dressed to go out.
Sophia Petrillo: Have I given you any indication at all that I care? Now let’s go!
Donald Trump: Don’t get angry spirit, we shall go.
Sophia Petrillo: Oh, I’m sorry sweetheart, I just tend to get a little upset WHEN PEOPLE RUIN MY LIFE!
Charles Dickens: The spirit snapped her fingers and the window opened.
Sophia Petrillo: Come, let us go.
Donald Trump: But spirit, I am a mere mortal. I cannot leap from the window.
Sophia Petrillo: Man, you’re such a big baby. A touch of my hand and you shall fly with me.
Charles Dickens: Scrooge was a bit leery, but he grabbed her hand and he lifted off the floor a bit.
Sophia Petrillo: Now don’t you get any funny ideas mister.
Charles Dickens: They proceeded through the window and Scrooge’s bedroom vanish, as did the city. Scrooge found himself with the Spirit on an open country road with fields on either side. The darkness of the night had vanished as well, and it was a clear cold winter day with snow on the ground.
Donald Trump: My goodness spirit! I grew up here! Just up this road is my school house!
Sophia Petrillo: Do you recollect the way there?
Donald Trump: Remember it! I can walk there blindfolded!
Sophia Petrillo: Well, lets get moving. I’ve got a bunion that isn’t getting any smaller… Let’s Go!
Charles Dickens: They started heading to the school house, with Scrooge recognizing every gate, tree and residence
Albert Einstein: I’m perplexed, how does she have a bunion if she is levitating?
Charles Dickens: You got me on that, I didn’t put that in the original version.