Charles Dickens: Now I want to remind you Al, that Marley was dead.
Albert Einstein: You mentioned that indeed. It seems hardly worth repeating.
Charles Dickens: It is important to note, that he was dead. As Marley’s business partner, Scrooge inherited all of Marley’s assets when he died. One of which being his highly visible and highly furnished White House on Commonwealth of PA Ave. Prior to there, he had rented a room near the office. Scrooge was never one for frivolities. As such, when he inherited this house, he kept it shut up, lightly heated and lit.
Albert Einstein: Well at least he is consistent.
Charles Dickens: Indeed, now as Scrooge approached his house, no one was out on the street. However, Scrooge had the eerie feeling that he was being followed or watched. He walked by his house once to see if he could see anyone following him. He stood in the darkness for a bit of time and looked around to see if he could see anyone. He saw nothing; however he did see a discarded bucket from KFC.
Albert Einstein: MMM, finger licking good!
Charles Dickens: Is that all you think about? Food and slogans?
Albert Einstein: Well, I am hungry.
Charles Dickens: Sigh… Scrooge was drawn to the bucket of KFC, he couldn’t explain it but his eyes fixed on it and he swore he heard his name being called by a voice from the past.
Donald Trump: Who’s there?!
Charles Dickens: Again, silence. Scrooge content that his mind was playing tricks on him, decided to enter his house and turn in for the night. Instead of saying his phrase he tweeted:
Donald Trump: #BahHumbug
Charles Dickens: As Scrooge settled in for the night, he ate a light meal and fell asleep in his chair. But he was awoken to a vision of his former business partner calling out his name.
Bernie Sanders: SCROOOOGEEE!!!
Donald Trump: Jacob Marley!
Bernie Sanders: Ebenezer Scrooge! In life I was your business partner. Now I come to warn you of the dangers of your capitalistic ways, to save your spirit!
Donald Trump: But, you’re dead. You’re not real! You could be a hallucination!
Bernie Sanders: Why do you doubt what you see?
Donald Trump: Why you could be a bit of stomach ache. A undigested Hamberder, a bit of cheese. Ah yes, there more of gravy than grave about you!
Bernie Sanders: Scrooge, you’re as funny as you are compassionate. I have come to tell you will be visited by three spirits tonight. You can expect the first ghost when the clock strikes one!
Donald Trump: But I’ve had enough of a haunting. Can’t I just have them all now?
Bernie Sanders: Expect the first ghost when the clock strikes one! Now I must take my chains of oppression and redistribute them to other greedy capitalists. Charles Dickens: And just as fast as Jacob Marley appeared, he disappeared.